Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I'm Baaaack!

For the past year or so my writing life has been in limbo. For what reason? Many, actually, but I think it's because I've been in a battle with myself over life. See, my family did something this last year that I'm not proud of. We recently moved from the south and I'm not happy about it. At all. I miss it terribly. Now if you've never been south of the Mason-Dixon line, you might not totally understand what I'm saying, but for those who have, well, keep reading.

We moved to a small, university town in 2005 and I spent the first six months convinced that I'd moved to another country. Literally. I had to actually apologize to a few people and tell them that I could not understand a word they were saying. I wanted to smack people who spoke like they were on slow motion. Everything down there was different, not just the accents- food, speed of the people, wildlife everywhere. I grew up in a large city where parks and woods were planned by the city. Not so in the south. Wooded lots were everywhere, which meant so was the wildlife. Coming from Central IL, where the only wildlife I ever saw regularly were rabbits, MS was like living in the woods. Seeing dear dance-run across streets, their little white tails bobbing around, never got old, btw. And the bats at twilight--simply magical.

But the best thing about the south are the people!! Not since high school had I found a wonderful group of amazing people who were just as happy to let me into their lives as I was to let them. It took a little while, but eventually I found myself a core group of fantastic people in the homeschool arena as well as in writing and even some wonderful people I am proud to call neighbors! (We'd never had that before either.) For a long time I felt beyond blessed by the wonderful people in my life.

Then we got word that we were going to be moving and my life just kind of cracked like stepping on a sheet of ice (we're back in the north where's it ridiculously cold!). Now, we've moved with hubby's job enough to know that the saying "out of sight, out of mind" really is true. Not on purpose. Not with any malicious intent on anyone's part (I hope anyway), but lives keep moving forward and soon those closest to you will find someone else to fill your place and visiting just isn't the same as being there with those you love everyday to share everything. Now don't get me wrong, visiting is better than resorting to facebook posts and once a year Christmas cards!

And since this is our third trip into Central IL, I know what to expect, which is normal 'northern'-tude (and CA actually). Don't talk to strangers-or even look them in the eye to smile. Wave to your neighbors but don't expect to be let in. Smile and say hi to people you go to church with on Sunday mornings but that's about all you're going to get.

What does this have to do with my writing? Well, I've let myself be led by my sadness, but that's not healthy or right. It's time to work on putting a bit more cracks into my line of vision to break out of this funk-cocoon of mine. Writing is something I enjoy doing. It lets me have something that is truly mine-and those of you who are stay at home mom's know that nothing is truly just ours, not that I'm complaining, just stating a fact. Will I ever get published? I don't know. Will it become my obsession? Probably not. But I like to write and learn about myself and the art of writing so I'll continue my journey to self discovery by doing something that bares my soul to the world. Strange thing to do for 'fun', I know, but hey, no one ever said I'm not strange. Just ask my kids-and the friends I left down south! ;)

My journey back to happiness begins and ends with me. Period. So I'll keep plugging away at myself and remind myself that life is all about choices. Make one you don't like? Then go back and make another one that you do, because life is too short and once the day is done, it's done. So today do something you like to do.

Be passionate about something!